Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
