Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
