there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
