My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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