Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time http://tfl.nu/brrk
  Replies (27) Good night (5075) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this http://tfl.nu/291a
  Replies (27) Good night (1162) Bad night (8323)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm so horny

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I'm so horny (913): I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect http://tfl.nu/ggyh
  Replies (12) Good night (5934) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment. http://tfl.nu/9yfj
  Replies (4) Good night (1080) Bad night (2460)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning. http://tfl.nu/qol4
  Replies (5) Good night (3537) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon. http://tfl.nu/hf2o
  Replies (20) Good night (3541) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers. http://tfl.nu/t7fg
  Replies (6) Good night (609) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants. http://tfl.nu/algc
  Replies (7) Good night (1142) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO http://tfl.nu/r9jo
  Replies (26) Good night (925) Bad night (2219)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/xtl1
  Replies (0) Good night (951) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me". http://tfl.nu/x44y
  Replies (0) Good night (810) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer" http://tfl.nu/l0xj
  Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel. http://tfl.nu/bfut
  Replies (0) Good night (540) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar http://tfl.nu/r2q7
  Replies (2) Good night (575) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it. http://tfl.nu/3399
  Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (142)

Randomize