Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

How did that happen by accident?

(314): View more from Missouri

I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.

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(314): I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night. (1-314): How did that happen by accident? (314): I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong. http://tfl.nu/6uoj

Replies (17) Good night (618) Bad night (3377)
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(727): View more from Florida

I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.

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(727): I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused. http://tfl.nu/bje5

Replies (24) Good night (1174) Bad night (3975)
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(813): View more from Florida

i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license

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(813): i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license http://tfl.nu/t0ir

Replies (13) Good night (5589) Bad night (698)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.

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(225): We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed. http://tfl.nu/eoiy

Replies (24) Good night (1493) Bad night (5528)
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(913): View more from Kansas

No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.

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(913): No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough. http://tfl.nu/u8ss

Replies (3) Good night (2458) Bad night (1013)
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(614): View more from Ohio

ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund

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(614): ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund http://tfl.nu/czuk

Replies (8) Good night (2685) Bad night (1475)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips

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(217): I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips http://tfl.nu/378x

Replies (4) Good night (1347) Bad night (766)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...

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(704): So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ... http://tfl.nu/bcgx

Replies (5) Good night (579) Bad night (1222)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?

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(780): Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job? http://tfl.nu/b4va

Replies (7) Good night (752) Bad night (1524)
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(406): View more from Montana

Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�

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(406): Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.� http://tfl.nu/b2xf

Replies (2) Good night (1136) Bad night (613)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?

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(505): Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away? http://tfl.nu/yzva

Replies (4) Good night (2030) Bad night (596)
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(714): View more from California

Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.

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(714): Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/kmrp

Replies (20) Good night (729) Bad night (3153)
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(819): View more from Quebec

I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.

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(819): I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis. http://tfl.nu/mdgl

Replies (2) Good night (498) Bad night (575)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is

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(810): Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is http://tfl.nu/6mxi

Replies (3) Good night (782) Bad night (655)
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(425): View more from Washington

My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...

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(425): My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way... http://tfl.nu/ehz3

Replies (11) Good night (887) Bad night (498)

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