If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize