Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out