what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday