I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
