really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize