:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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