i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Randomize
