i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my shit smells like andre
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
