Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I got inside last night via doggy door
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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