Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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