people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
