Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
that's an acceptable place to lick
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
