I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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