At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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