he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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