If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
