I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I don't think brook has ever known best
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
