But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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