i jhust puked up my retainher.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
