My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
