If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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