Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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