So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
