Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I faked an abortion last night.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
