I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
