Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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