Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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