I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
