real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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