you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize