I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
