escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
