Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
