is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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