you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
