I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
