I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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