I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
