this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
