went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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