Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
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She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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