Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize