I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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