Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
