From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
