I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
