Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Houston, we have a squirter
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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