Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
