You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
