I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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