Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
