Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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