eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My bed is full of blood and feathers
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
