handjob tips. give me some.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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