oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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