I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize