so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
