Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
