I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
