Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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