You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
