Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
