Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
